I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
