The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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