Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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