Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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