Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
