Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
a search helicopter?!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
