3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize