no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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