i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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