I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
