Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Randomize
