you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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