I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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