i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
time to smoke my breakfast
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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