I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
