I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
