No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Boobs speak an international language.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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