The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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