actually, I'm a sock model
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
