I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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