Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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