yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
