Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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