You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm drive I can fine osifer
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
