he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize