question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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