I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
