i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
