So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
