he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dignity is for republicans.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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