"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
