I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize