I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Buhtt sex?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
