Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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