can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
