He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
