this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
