even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
