He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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