ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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