I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
