i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
