please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
