i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dignity is for republicans.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
