are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
