i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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