just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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