Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
