If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
