I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
