Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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