Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
