Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize