If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
