Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
