why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
