dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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