I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
