the day after is always just damage control
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
