I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize