Can Purell be used as lube?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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